Messages from Big Jim

Soul Kisses December 2005 Newsletter

November was unseasonably warm for Colorado.  The changes of fall leaves almost completing their mission.  The skies this year have been the most beautiful I've ever seen.  Personally, my life has been in rapid rollercoaster transition.  In amazing ways the angels have led me to first one person, then another - earth angels... 

I'm sorry, but there was no November newsletter, because of unexpected outside influences.

Today's newsletter is written to honor the seventy years of my Dad's life.  I hadn't physically seen my dad in twelve years because he lived a thousand miles away from me, but when we spoke on the phone we could exhaust even a completely charged cordless phone.  On Friday, October 28, we spoke over the telephone lines for the last time.  He was scheduled to have open heart surgery on Monday, October 31.  We talked about the upcoming surgery - he wasn't afraid, he was at peace with it.  He had more important things to think about - a red Road King Harley that was calling his name to ride.  He had Friday afternoon till Sunday night to experience the thrill of his powerful machine and he did just that.

Then on All Hallows Eve, he went to the hospital to have surgery to repair the arteries of his heart.  At first, the surgery appeared to be successful, then at the last minute, things changed.  Between phone calls from my mom keeping me abreast of what was going on, I contacted a dear friend of mine who helped me connect with my dad.  My friend connected with him and discovered his transition home was near.  She asked me to meditate and try to connect with him.  In my emotional state, I didn't think it would be possible, but it was.  He was very happy to be free of his heavy physical body, yet annoyed with the doctors for not seeing that there was a crossover that was causing the problem - after all, the doctors were experts.  Clearly his physical body was in distress, but there was immense joy in this union. 

Archangel Michael and Archangel Raphael were there.  When Daddy asked if he could ride his Harley "home" and they said, yes, he was outta here.  He rode the Harley into the light of God with Archangel Michael and Archangel Raphael....  Daddy said, "It was the best ride of my life!"

Grief has no script - no book - no directions - no guidelines.  I know my dad is riding the universe with his dog and his skunk - yes, skunk (long story) eating all the Kentucky Fried Chicken he wants.  I hear him laughing and I hear him making comments like, "You've put on weight!" directed at me the day after he crossed (my dad has quite the sense of humor and says whatever he's thinking...).  I even have pictures of his essence with the family in front of his Harley the day after his funeral.  I know he's still with me, yet I cry and I feel sad because I am a humanoid and death of someone we love is traumatic for the physical body no matter what our spiritual beliefs are.

I share these intimate moments with you because we all have - or will - lose someone we love and I'm hoping in reading this, it will bring you comfort when you too, are grieving. 

I hadn't physically seen my dad for twelve years - not because we were angry with one another, it was simply geography.  Yet, I have no guilt over not having "seen" him.  I don't feel as though words were left unsaid, because more and more will be said - he's still with me and now he's in a position to give me even better guidance because he knows ALL. 

The numbness of his crossing has almost worn off, and now, as I hold tightly to my spiritual beliefs, I grieve, yet I rejoice at the honor of having such an amazing spirit as he for my dad and the prospect of his connection and guidance in the future.  I'm keeping a journal of these connections - of this privilege in being a part of the physical world and the "other side." 
 

I sincerely know that my spiritual beliefs are what has sustained me in these days since Daddy's transition.  Today is a new day and Christmas is in a few weeks.  Yes, physically it feels wrong to be celebrating without my dad, but spiritually I know that each day is an opportunity to share love and light with the world.  That is why we are all here, to love and share with others.

I hope sharing my experiences has brought you comfort or will bring you comfort when you are grieving a loss. 

In love and light,
Kate