I'm Okay...  I'm Exuberant...

Last year my cousin Vicki Hailey was very sick with cancer. She was living with her parents and the doctors did not expect her body to continue fighting much longer. I live a thousand miles away from them so my only communication was with my grandmother who visited Vicki often. My grandmother told me her brother, Vicki's father, was struggling desperately with releasing his daughter to death. A couple of days before her passing, I woke from a sound sleep to the sound of Vicki laughing...

Slowly I woke to the sound of laughter, but it was in my head, not in the room. In my minds eye, I could see Vicki and my Great Grandmother (who had passed several years ago) over to my right. We were in a beautiful garden with yellow roses and they were sitting on large boulders. They were both so beautiful and Vicki was laughing. She emphatically told me to tell her father she was "exuberant" (how many times do you use that word in a sentence in a week?). Vicki told me this several times. Then she told me to tell my living grandmother, Laura Stockam, that she loves her. I asked her if she wanted me to tell her mother anything and she responded, "she already knows."  Vicki then told me that my daughter, who she had never seen while living, is beautiful. I became emotional and my Great Grandmother told me to stop it, because my significant other would tell me to get up and blow my nose (she knew sniffing is a major annoyance to him!).

When I got up the next morning, I was very concerned that Vicki had passed during the night. She had not, but she had slipped in and out of consciousness. Vicki did pass a few days later. When the obituary came out in the paper, my grandmother couldn't wait to call me. Vicki's brother had written it. In it he said that Vicki had lived an "exuberant" life. He didn't know about the conversation I had with Vicki in the middle of the night a thousand miles away, and yet, he used the same word Vicki had...

Even in death, Vicki was thinking of others. She was doing her best to communicate to her dad that she was ok - exuberantly happy - in a place outside the physical world where her body was not in the constant all consuming pain from cancer. Not only was she happy and pain free, but she wasn't alone. Her grandmother was there, helping her to make the transition from physical world to spiritual world.

As I wrote this, I realized that I had not honored Vicki's request - exactly. I had given the message to my grandmother, but not directly to Vicki's immediate family. It had been months since Vicki's death, but I felt I couldn't let Vicki down. I hesitated because I didn't know how her parents would take the news. When I mentioned to my daughter that Vicki's parents were very close to God, she emphatically urged me to call them. I did.

I spoke with Vicki's mother explaining to her in detail the conversation I had with Vicki and Great Grandmother. Vicki's mother was beyond ecstatic, she thanked me over and over for passing on the information. She explained she was missing Vicki terribly and praying for a message from her. I could hear in her voice how relieved she was and the peace I had given her. She also confirmed my suspicion of Vicki's favorite flower - yellow roses...

Kate Large
Soul Kisses

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