In Honor of Majik Payden - A Celebration
of the Love that IS Majik
Majik was not just a dog.
If you're a dog lover, you get this.
Majik was my angel baby from another mother.
time I sat down to write this, my human brain struggled
with how I would possibly convey how much love Majik
brought to our lives. Then I realized there are no
human words to express such a deep expansion of love -
and if you've been blessed to love and be loved by an
animal, you get this.
When my dad died in 2005, life changed. When my grandmother died in
2012, the grief
was paralyzing. When Maj left his physical body and he stopped
breathing I began to cry from my soul and I still am and probably always
will while I'm in my human body.
Majik had been sitting in my lap or on my desk while I worked
for the past ten years. It is truly as if a physical part of me is
gone. When I worked late, he might go to bed with Freddy, but he'd
come back to check on me. He'd sit at the door and quietly, without a
word, demand with his beautiful brown eyes, that I come to
bed. Just as with a toddler, I haven't been to the bathroom by myself
in a decade. If I didn't close the door completely, Maj would open it
and if I did close and latch the door, he would be waiting right outside when I opened it.
I've mentioned Majik periodically throughout the years in the Soul Kisses
newsletter - like the time he
jumped out of the truck window to chase deer - OMG - that totally freaked me
out. He wasn't hurt, just crazy excited - running back to me, jumping
in my arms covered in snow, screaming in his silent voice, "DID YOU SEE
Then when he got sick I
asked you to pray for us and send healing loving energy to us and you did.
You've supported me, Majik and Freddy through one of the hardest, most
painful periods of my life and and our life together and I am grateful.
I also want to acknowledge that Majik felt like your fur baby, too, and when
he passed, you grieved with us. In return we pray for you and send love to you, for
Majik did NOT like to have his photograph taken - I'm sure it was the flash
he didn't like. I took hundreds of photos this past year and I'm so
glad I did - when I went to look for pictures of him as a baby I couldn't
find them... I've included some of the really special ones from this
past year, here in his memorial.
So now... I want to honor little Majik with his story...
In 2005 I asked God to send me a puppy who would bring love to my home.
A puppy who would sit on my lap or my desk, while I worked. A puppy
who would be a cuddle-bug and hold the energy of joy, laughter and the love
of God. And He sent Majik to me. Majik fulfilled everything I
asked for and so much more - the love that he was far exceeded what my human
brain could imagine!
The sweet, gentle, loving spirit of Majik Payden raised his paw and joined
the physical world on June 5, 2005. He was born in South Carolina to
Miss Bunni's Molly and Panama. I live in Colorado, so he flew on a plane
with the angels to come live with me. (NOTE: Majik Payden was
named after Kevin Kline's character Paden in the western movie, Silverado -
not Peyton Manning, although we are fans.)
I was sooooo excited to pick him up at the airport! When I opened the
crate and looked into those big puppy eyes in the middle of all that fluff,
I fell in love and the magic began.
I was always learning from him... in those first months I learned how when
he was really serious about sleeping, I'd hear a deep heavy sigh, then he'd
be off to dream land. He was a great little sleeper - sleeping all
night long - there was no crying puppy in the night at our house.
Sometimes when we would stay up late, he'd go to bed without us when it was
I learned that Majik's favorite color is blue. People will tell you
that dog's can't see color. Seeing doesn't matter! Color has
energy and Majik loved the energy of blue, so a lot of his toys are blue and
he has blue beds and blue blankets and a blue snowsuit and blue argyle sweater
and leash and harness and bandanas and food bowls...
I had purchased a half size baby play pen to keep him corralled while I
worked, but Maj was having none of that! He learned to climb up the
side of the playpen to the top of my desk to be a part of what I was doing
and cuddle on my lap. So I put one of his beds on my desk and the
playpen quickly became a thing of the past.
As you know puppies are chewers. One day while I was working he was
under the desk - quietly chewing - on the cord to my Epson printer!
When I discovered what he was doing, I scolded him, then saw the cord and
thanked God he hadn't been
electrocuted! He hadn't chewed the cord into two pieces, but there was
no way it was ever going to work again - and the cord wasn't removable.
I called Epson, explained what happened, and asked if there was a way to
take the printer apart to
replace the cord. There wasn't. I was very surprised when they
offered to send me a new printer - at
no charge! I'm a customer for life!
Majik was only 4 months old, my dad, Big Jim, died in open heart surgery on
October 31, 2005. After my mom called me to tell me there was a
problem in the operating room, Majik became an integral part of my spiritual
journey that I didn't expect. He was a part of my connection with
Daddy a thousand miles away in the operating room and Maj saw Daddy come to visit for
the first time ---and growled at him! (You may read our story in the
Waiting in the Other Room book that Daddy and I wrote together in
2009 - 4 years after he passed.)
Animals see the realm of spirit - angels, guides, archangels, light beings
and deceased loved ones and Majik often shared what he saw through his
That Halloween night as Majik and I sat at my desk waiting for Freddy to
come home, the sun went down and darkness crept down the hallway. The
light over my desk was the only one on in the house, and I just couldn't
bring myself to get up to turn more on. Majik was sitting in my lap,
comforting me, when he suddenly jumped up and marched across the desk toward
the door. At the edge of the desk he peered into the hallway... and he
growled. As I type this I can still see in my mind's eye, what Majik saw -
my dad standing in the doorway - someone he had never seen before.
Daddy passed he would
came to see us a lot and he would bring his skunk, Alvin - also in spirit -
to play with Majik. Maj would alert me that Daddy and Alvin were there
because I'd see Majik playing with something or someone that I
couldn't see. (Note: Alvin's spirit would show up as a 'zero' orb
When Majik was big enough to jump on the beds, Alvin would jump into the
pillows and Majik would go after him. Majik would hustle the pillows
off the bed and sometimes get under the covers looking for Alvin and
wreaking havoc with a once well made bed ---- and that was ok ~ most of the
When Majik arrived from South Carolina he was potty trained to use a litter
box. Well... I confused him on that almost immediately so he would
take care of his business wherever he happened to be standing - and that was
Early one morning after Fred left for work and Jesse went to school, Majik
and I had a talk. I put him on the seat of a chair and sat in the
floor so we were nose to nose looking into each other's eyes. I had
his complete attention. First I focused my mind's eye on his pottying
in the house and filled my mind and body with displeasure. Then I
focused my mind's eye on his pottying outside in the grass and filled my
mind and body with joy and happiness!
Majik got the picture. He had one accident two weeks later then that
was it - outside was his potty area. YAY!
Majik was mine and Freddy's four legged human that didn't talk much until we
returned home or guests arrived. When we would come home he would scream.
Ever heard a poodle scream? It can be deafening! So he'd be told
to get a toy. You'd think he wouldn't be able to scream with a toy in
his mouth, but Majik was really talented.
Majik was also an eavesdropper on conversations...
He knew everything, because he not only listened, he
could read minds. One day after Jesse moved out, Freddy and I
were talking while Majik slept in my lap. When I told Fred that Jesse was
coming over, Majik jumped up from a sound sleep and went to the door where
he cried till Jesse
arrived. Maj loved his "seester" - she teased him unmercifully, but he
loved her anyway. When she would leave she'd hug me till Majik would
start the poodle scream wanting to be a part of the hug. He loved
...And... he loved to dance - with me... The boy had rhythm! When I would
play music and dance around the room, Majik would wiggle around and cry to
be picked up so he could dance, too. We would dance and his little
head would bob to the music! His favorite was
"You can do Magic" by
America. A few weeks before his passing he demanded to dance with me
to "Thriller" he thought that was exciting!
I groomed Maj for eight years. It would take us hours... He was
so funny... he would fuss in his silent Majik voice that, "I could have come back as a wild coyote,
but noooooooo... I came back in this lifetime as a high maintenance poodle!"
We would take so long that he would always fall asleep before we were
finished. His face was always last, and by that time - in his mind, he
was done. So he would yawn and snap his jaws - his nonverbal way of
telling me he was done, then I would open the bathroom door and let him
escape and he'd run around the house like a wild man!
I asked our vet to recommend a groomer and he did - in Parker -
K9 Salon & Market.
But alas... Maj was high maintenance... He wanted the owner to carry
him around till it was his turn. But once he was on the table, he was
a professional - cooperating with every grooming position. Knowing how
Maj felt - that he needed that human interaction - I would do my best to
arrive at his appointed time and be there when he was ready to be picked up - no
waiting for that boy!
After each grooming session Maj would get a new bandana. I didn't know
he really liked the bandana till one day we were sitting on the sofa when I
looked over and saw that his bandana had come untied. Before I could
reach over and tie it, Majik picked
up the end with his teeth and was trying to put it back up on his shoulder! So I
bought fabric and pinking shears and he had lots of new bandanas!
And... he didn't want any thrown away - they were washed and reused!
One day after taking his old bandana off, I was cutting a new bandana and
clearly I was taking too long! Majik was prancing around crying for
his new bandana! I put it on him and he was perfectly content!
Majik liked to have his teeth brushed... Miss Bunni had sent chicken
flavor toothpaste and a toothbrush, but Majik was having none of it!
He didn't like chicken flavor toothpaste! But he liked to get a drink
out of the sink faucet while I was brushing my teeth so he became interested
in my cinnamon toothpaste. Bunni had told me that smell will guide
Majik, so I rubbed my finger with my cinnamon and transferred the smell to
Majik's toothbrush and tried brushing his teeth. Majik liked it!
I couldn't find cinnamon toothpaste for dogs, but I did find doggy Vanilla Mint
and he liked it, so washing Majik's face and brushing his teeth became a
morning and night ritual.
are plentiful at our house. Majik loved getting new ones, so
he had a LOT of them! They were very inexpensive from
Dog Supplies, so I
would order them and keep them in a bag in my office. He would get a
new one when he went to the groomers (or just because I wanted to give him
one). I'd put it in a bag and tell him I had something for him.
OMG - he would get SO Excited! You would think it was Christmas!
He'd nuzzle his way into the bag and pull out the toy and poke it and bite
it and throw it and run around playing with it. Then when Freddy would
get home I'd ask Maj to show Freddy his new toy and he would.
One day while I was working, Majik jumped in my lap to get on the desk and I
noticed he had feathers on him. Feathers? Really? Then I
remember I was washing sheets... The rascal Majik had been rolling around on the
feather mattress pad on the bed! So I put the feathers on this angel
and I keep it on my keyboard as a reminder of how magically limitless love
If you've participated in one of my classes or had an angel reading with me,
Maj was either on my lap or on the desk soaking up the angel love energy
with us. He loved angel energy!
Caring for Grandma Laura
Majik went with Jesse and I and Jess's dog Jayden to Arkansas in 2012 to
take care of my grandmother, Laura. He and Jay were so sweet and
gentle with Grandma. Jay would sit on Grandma's lap and Majik would
lie beside her because he was a little too heavy for her lap. We had so
many angelic visitors and Maj and Jay could see them. Jesse and I
would observe the boys licking in the air as if an unseen hand were petting
them and they were responding.
A few weeks after Grandma passed, I was holding Majik on my lap sobbing
through the grief when I looked into Majik's eyes and asked him if he missed
Grandma, too? Clear as day I heard him patiently say, "I see her all
the time, I don't know what your problem is."
I was so surprised I stopped crying and laughed! I felt the sadness
shift and immediately saw grandma in my mind's eye sweeping the kitchen
floor! I can still see her clearly in this moment - proof that the
experience was real!
last year together
When we moved into our house, Majik was nervous at first, but he loved the
deck. Before we moved in he wasn't a fan of being outside by himself,
but that changed. The deck is over a walk out basement so its high and
the yard backs to a greenbelt, so Maj could see "wilderness." He loved
'surveying' the greenbelt and going for walks. They were sniffing
excursions checking out all the social media spots where other dogs would
leave information. And sometimes he would meet other dogs on the walk.
He liked Buddy, a big gray Labradoodle and Troy, a Great Dane. Troy
called Maj, "Bandana Boy." But he really liked the girls - especially
In the spring of 2015 I noticed Maj was having trouble urinating. I
took him to our vet, Dr. Swieckowski at
Clinic and learned that he had a urinary infection. We began
treating it and it got better, but he still had trouble urinating.
Thus began our every three weeks (and sometimes every two weeks) visit to
the vet. Majik really liked Dr. Swieckowski (even though Majik said he
stuck things where things shouldn't be stuck). Doctor Swieckowski always called
"Handsome" and was gentle with him.
During a visit in the middle of June the Doc discovered there was debris in
Majik's bladder. Doctor Swieckowski gave us Crananidin to try and
flush it out.
When we went back on July 1, the debris had become a very aggressive tumor
that all but filled Majik's bladder and Maj wasn't feeling very good at all.
The tumor was cancer and it was dangerously close to blocking the urine from
leaving his body.
reached out to you, the Soul Kisses community and the loving prayers poured in.
Majik was open to receiving Reiki and you sent it to him. Someone sent
him this book: Whole-Pet Healing by Dr. Dennis W. Thomas.
I don't know who sent it - it was addressed to Majik from Amazon. I love this book. Please let me know who
you are so I can thank you! Roland Comtois sent us Holy Water blessed by John
of God and we changed Majik's food to My Perfect Pet and Goat's milk.
Majik's regiment of medication and food was:
~ Chinese Herbs
~ Holy Water blessed by John of God splashed on his food
~ Goat's milk
~ My Perfect Pet - buffalo or chicken
We also used The Journey Method of healing by Brandon Bays (paperback
revised and upgraded edition from Amazon).
In less than 60 days the tumor that had practically filled his bladder was
And Majik felt good - really good. Life was good for everyone and we
But Maj still had difficulty urinating so we still went to the vet's office
every two to three weeks to keep a close eye. He also leaked urine so we got
him Belly Bands. He really didn't like them, but then I made him matching belly band covers and bandanas. The
batman fabric was his favorite. (The belly band brand we used was
Veterinarian's Best Comfort-Fit - and I ordered them from Amazon)
developed a daily routine of washing his little tummy with a warm wet
washcloth and puppy wipes, drying with a soft towel, and putting a little
A&D Ointment on if necessary, then a new belly band. Sometimes at
night he'd fall asleep while he was getting cleaned up. At night
instead of a belly band (because he would wriggle out of them) he'd wear a
baby's onesie t-shirt that I'd modified to fit him with a heavy feminine pad
in it. He really preferred to sleep naked - and it broke his little heart
to have to wear a onesey, but we always made it a big deal of how cute he
was, so he tolerated it.
Then the tumor came back. It began as a white expanse in the lining of
his bladder then it grew into the bladder almost as a shelf. Dr.
Swieckowski increased the Piroxicam and the tumor reduced for a few weeks.
Majik LOVED the snow. I never got much work done on the first day
of snow, because Maj was worse than a kid - in and and out - in and out.
AND of course he had to have all the cold gear on - sweater, snowsuit or
onesie and boots of some kind. Funny thing was... he didn't think he
could walk in his snowsuit, onesie or any kind of shoes if he was in the
house, but once he was outside, he not only could walk, he could run!
Thanksgiving came and Freddy and I took Maj to Estes Park - the three of us in a small
mountain cabin - and it snowed. I had packed well - he had
his sweaters, snowsuit and onesie with snowshoes. We had a great time,
even though it was cold, we each bundled up and walked by the river and
Majik LOVED it!
We weren't leaving Maj at home by himself much since he first got sick, but
with the diagnosis of the tumor, we never left him alone. If the tumor
blocked the urethra he would be in terrible pain, so if Majik couldn't go,
we didn't either. I got him one of those Kakato Polyester Pet Chest
Backpacks - and Maj was cool with it. It was a perfect fit for him and
it was easy for me to carry him. I didn't get any pictures of him in
it, but he sure was cute.
With Thanksgiving came the diagnosis of the tumor shelf getting even larger.
When the tumor came back, I knew Majik had decided he was not going to stay
in his physical body.
It was then that I knew we needed to honor his wishes. When he decided he
did not like the Renal Support and stopped eating any food with it on it, I
had to give it to him in a syringe. He hated that and it wasn't going
to extend his life, so that had
to stop. Then in the end he stopped eating his food. I would
spread a beach towel out on the floor and pull out whatever I thought he
might eat from the fridge and we'd try one thing at a time till he ate
something. He had to have food on his stomach to take the Piroxicam.
he wouldn't eat anything I'd give him applesauce in a syringe.
Sometimes he liked it and sometimes... not so much..., but he swallowed it
anyhow. The lack of appetite on a consistent basis occurred his last
My guides had told me that I would have to help Maj complete his journey and
that I would know when it "was time." Of course my human brain wanted
to know "how" would I know?
I watched Majik constantly for indications of pain. He began to pant
when it wasn't hot, have trouble pooing and all but stopped eating. But he still ran and played and had parts of the
day that he felt good - and he loved his walks.
On December 7, Freddy was throwing a toy for Maj in the basement.
While he was running after the toy I
noticed his back legs were shaking uncontrollably. By the time we got
upstairs the trembling had stopped, but he wasn't having a good day - he
really did not feel good.
The next day we had to take daughter, Jesse, to the airport at o'dark thirty.
Freddy drove us and I held Maj. His back legs were trembling just
enough to feel it all the way to the airport and back and he couldn't get
When we got back the trembling stopped and we took a nap. Then Freddy and I took Maj for a walk.
I washed my hair and was sitting in front of the mirror drying it while Maj
lay in the walk-in closet watching me. When I started to use the flat
iron, he came over and got into my lap and looked me right in the eye in the
He never did that - looked into the mirror. I would hold him up to the
mirror and show him how cute he was, but he wouldn't look. But that
day, he did - looked me right in the eye and told me, "It's time."
I called Miss Bunni for support and I got it. She told me that even if
I had helped Maj complete his journey when he was first diagnosed, it
wouldn't have been too soon. Dogs adapt to pain and that's what Maj
was doing. I was keeping him here for me - medicating him, feeding him
with a syringe. Even though he was having a pretty good day, it was
because he was learning to adapt to the pain and there is no honor in that.
called the vet and made the appointment for that afternoon to help Maj
complete his journey.
I told Freddy and then I took Maj for his last walk through the greenbelt.
He met two girls on his walk and was really happy about meeting them.
Majik knew it was his last walk... and he was ok with that. He wasn't
afraid of death at all - he understood his spirit would be free and he could
still be with me - after all my dad, Big Jim, and Grandma were still around!
Freddy and I were the ones drowning in grief.
When we got back,
I sat and held him and asked him if he would come back to me and he assured
me he would. In those moments I saw him in a new puppy body and I
heard "March" softly whispered in my ear.
Even so, I kept thinking I was losing my mind... how could I end his little
life? But I knew I had to honor him and help him complete his journey.
I knew with every cell of my being that Daddy would come to get him and Maj
would be fine - and he was.
the way to the vet's office, Freddy crawled through residential
neighborhoods so Maj could have his face out the window and breathe in the
fresh cool air while I held him safe. He enjoyed that.
He was wearing his Batman bandana and matching belly band. I took the
belly band off of him before we went into the vet's office and wrapped him
in a beach towel so he wouldn't be embarrassed wearing the belly band.
Our hearts were broken when we left the vet's office.
The next morning as my angels helped me process through the pain of my grief, I saw Maj running around in a green meadow of lush green grass, then he
jumped into a snow bank and snow flew everywhere! I heard my dear
sweet grandma laughing. She and Maj were having a really great time. Then I
saw him jump into the arms of Jesus. He was safe.
knew Grandma and my angelic team would take good care of him. Before Maj passed I woke up
in the night to see him at the foot of the bed sitting with Grandma's spirit
- and she had turned on the little night light on his collar. That
light wasn't easy to turn on - it had to be turned 3/4 of the way around to
turn it on. He was just sitting there with it on looking at me. I think they
were making plans.
I know Majik is fine, but I still cry every day and I feel so lost...
My heart calls his name and I hear, "I'm here, mom, I'm here!" in his little
voice, just like when he was in his body and I couldn't find him. Then
I see him in spirit and he's having a great time.
A couple weeks after he passed, I was standing at the door to the deck
missing him when I saw his spirit on the deck. He was so excited - his
silent little voice yelled, "Watch this!" and he ran in through the closed door - then he ran
back out - in and out and in and out - he thought it was SO Cool that he
could do that without the door being open.
Then one day I was sitting at the table eating and there he was sitting in
the chair across from me with his head on the table watching me. I had
to laugh - he was never allowed to do that in his physical body, but he
conveyed he can do whatever he wants now.
At the end... I turned to football to help me release the painful emotions
of watching Majik decline - yeah... football... Maj would watch it
with me - well, he would lie in my lap or beside me till I started yelling
and screaming, then he'd move to the back of the sofa (we can't have guests
when I watch football). If Majik was an
eye roller, (like a human kid) this would be when he would've done it.
But he was ok with "fist bumping" when we scored a touchdown - he loved
happy energy. When he felt good we'd play with his football...
I could feel his energy with us during the Super Bowl... probably
rolling his little eyes at how out of control his mom was...
Our house is magical --- coming alive with rainbows in the sunlight that
filters through the windows. They appear in a bathroom with no windows, in
the living room, the kitchen, the bedroom, the hallway, the mirror edges,
and in my office on the walls, the keyboard and when he was in his physical
body - on Majik!
On the way to the vet the day we helped Majik complete his journey, I asked
him if he would come to me in rainbows. He has.
Rainbows have revealed themselves to me in the coffee table, the glass I was
drinking from, splashed across the dining room wall, the bathroom mirror edge and in the snow. After Maj
passed Freddy opened the front door to see how much snow he'd have to shovel
off the porch and the sunlight revealed thousands of blue, red and green
diamonds sparkling in the snow - Maj's rainbow.
And... I see the batman emblem at the oddest times. I came out of a
store at an outdoor mall while it was freezing and there was a huge man
wearing a Batman T-shirt and no coat, a batman emblem hanging from a car's
rear view mirror, and the batman emblem pops up all the time on my computer
and I've never searched for it. Thanks, Maj!
Since Majik passed I've discovered a part of myself that I never knew
existed - and I like this part of me. I've had some really unhappy,
disappointing experiences in my life, but now I'm stronger than I've ever
been and I see the teachings of the angels so clearly - I see that path of
happiness. I didn't expect Majik's transition to catapult me into a
new expression of my BE-ing, but it has and I am grateful for 'seeing' the
perfection in this ''beyond painful' situation.
Majik brought love to Mother Earth with his physical self and he continues to
infuse my life with love from spirit.
Freddy and I created a memorial for Majik over the fireplace and it's still
up, but I believe it'll be coming down soon because he's going to want to
play with those toys...
This is one of my favorite pictures of my angel baby Majik.
Freddy says his eyes follow you - just like when he was here - watching
everything I did, making sure I was ok.
More magic moments with Majyk
No... I didn't spell his name wrong... I've
received word Majik is coming back in a new puppy body.
I've ordered his new name tag: Majyk, a new puppy
harness that matches his leash, a training clicker, food
bowl, more toys and chew stick.
This is a very strange place to be, still crying every
day because he passed, yet excited beyond description
that he's coming back.
No... I don't know "HOW" he's arriving. Miss Bunni
isn't breeding poodles anymore. I've heard that
the new Majyk will be rescued - no abuse, he just needs
a new home and we're ready to receive him.
I will keep you posted!
If you're grieving the loss of a beloved fur baby, my
heart goes out to you and I send you angels of love,
light and comfort to help you process through your
grief. I know that Majik was picked up by my dad
in spirit and has been well taken care of, but still
I've had to experience human grief - and it has been
brutal. Please be gentle with yourself as you
acclimate to life without your fur baby's physical body
and hold the knowing in your heart that they are fine in
the realm of spirit. In time the pain will ease
and your heart will be filled with the love they brought
to you and continue to hold for you.
All my love,
The Magic continues...
He's back! Click here
to see him!
Recommendations for you and your Fur Baby:
~ Veterinarian's Best Comfort-Fit (belly bands)
~ Kakato Polyester Pet Chest Backpack
~ Whole-Pet Healing by Dr. Dennis W. Thomas
Animal Communicator (internet):
Groomer in Parker, CO:
K9 Salon & Market
Healing Modalities: Reiki and The Journey
Method by Brandon Bays
Holistic Vet in Franktown, CO:
Clinic, Dr. Swieckowski
Toys and Supplies (internet):