Messages from Big Jim A Celebration of Life

Written October 31, 2006

My dad's birth certificate listed his name as James Joseph, but everyone called him Jimmy Joe or just Jim.  Now my Protector Guide, Chief Running Bear, calls him Big Jim. 

Daddy transitioned home on October 31, 2005.  You may read more about his transition here:

Daddy on his old Harley Davidson

Today is a year since Daddy crossed over...  This morning when I woke up I began to think about him and all the "connections" and messages that I've received in the past year to let me know that he is, indeed, still here.  These are but a few...

Daddy and Spiders
Daddy farmed land that he and his father cleared for crops.  Of course living on a farm opens the door to critters - critters of every size shape and form.  So Daddy was my hero - my spider killer.  Whenever there was a shriek he knew I found another one and he would come kill it.  Ever seen a HUGE wolf spider?  They can get so big they will smell if you don't remove the dead body - I've seen shampoo bottles bounce off of them in the bathtub - I even had one that was so big it couldn't get under the piano! They will creep you out!

The morning after Daddy's transition I had an angel reading to do.  I knew he was around because earlier when I got dressed, I clearly hear him laughingly say, "you've put on weight!"  He always did say what he was thinking...

I was almost finished with the angel reading when a not tiny, but small, spider crawled out of my keyboard!  My office is on the top floor of my home - in the past four years I had seen three spiders in there and they were in the window - not on my desk - NOT in my keyboard! 

Note:  Spiders are not allowed in my home.  They're told if they come in the house, they will be killed.  If an Orkin salesman comes to the door, they won't believe you, but this does work.

Back to the story:  I'm thinking, Oh My God, I'm doing an angel reading, I can't "KILL" it!  Then I heard my dad laughing - totally cracking up.  I said, out loud, "this isn't funny!"  Clearly I heard him say, "yes, it is!"  I responded with, "but now he's got to die."  Daddy defended himself with, "it was his idea." 

Yeah, right, like the spider decided it was a good time to crawl out of a keyboard that I had been using for forty-five minutes.  Clearly he was deaf from the clacking in there...  The spider may have survived - I never saw him again.  I unceremoniously placed him in the trash can...

I see spiders at the oddest times - that's how I know they come from Daddy.  I've walked into the garage and a spider has been hanging from a web at eye level and I can still see it in the semi darkness. Hi Daddy!

Years ago I gave Daddy the book, All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulgham.  One of his favorite stories in the book is about the lady who walks into a spider web on the porch while on her way to work.  She looses it there on the step, waving her arms around and screaming.  She ends up going back into the house and showering.  It reminded him of me.

The best spider delivery couldn't have been more perfect.  Daddy dropped in an apport - a gift from spirit:

My teenage daughter and I were having an... angry difference of opinion.  She was sitting on the sofa and I was sitting in the chair in the living room.  She had just combed out her wet hair after a shower.  As we heatedly discussed our difference of opinion, I saw something that looked "HUGE" moving in her freshly washed hair.  I pulled her off the sofa and tried to get the spider out of her long wet hair.  Jesse isn't a spider fan either so she was totally freaked out.  When the spider finally let go of her hair and dropped to the carpet, he was a little guy - a little bitty guy!  A spider specimen I had seen growing up, but never in Colorado.  In the aftermath of the spider incident, Jesse and I were both crying and were able to work out our difference of opinion.  Oh yes, the spider had to die.

Daddy in Spirit with his newer Harley Davidson Road King.

Daddy and Trips out of Town
Living in Colorado is absolutely awesome.  Not only is the state beautiful, but if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change.  With so much to see here, we travel around "looking" as often as we can.  On the drive home after one of our excursions, Fred, my companion, and I were talking about my dad.  As if on cue, I saw a candy apple red Harley whiz around us - it was my dad!  In passing us, he lifted his right hand in a salute/waive.  Those of you who ride motorcycles know the throttle is on the right.  Instead of slowing down, he sped up!  Plus we all know how loud a Harley is - there was no noise.  Quickly I looked at Fred - he didn't see it.  In a flash, Daddy was out of sight.  I just smiled all the way home...

Father's Day
On Father's Day this year, I couldn't get a card for Fred.  Couldn't even walk down the card isle.  He didn't care, but I did.  In the afternoon we enjoyed our backyard.  Fred was lying in his hammock and I was sitting in a chair beside him talking to him when something out of the corner of my right eye caught my attention.  My dad was riding across the yard toward us - FAST.  He smoothly braked at the end of the hammock and revved the engine.  Alvin, the skunk, was on his shoulder and Snuggles, the dog, was on the back.  He had the biggest smile on his face.  Seems like every time I see him or hear him he's laughing and smiling.  (Guess I would be too if I were on the other side!)  He saluted.  Then he leaned the Harley over, spun out and zipped away - without destroying my yard.  What a wonderful Father's Day gift for ME!

I wasn't thinking about him... but he was thinking about me...
One day as I was putting away laundry in my bedroom I ran right into my dad.  I was walking out of the bathroom area and there he was - doing donuts on his Harley in the middle of my bedroom!  Majik was sitting on the bed watching him.  I hadn't even been thinking of him - but clearly he was thinking of me! 

I shared the experience with Fred when he got home.  He reminded me he doesn't want any "dead people" in our bedroom.  I told him he wasn't home!

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A Musical Connection
Big Jim communicates with my mom through songs.  Daddy used to whistle - and he was good at it.  While visiting my mom, I noticed that she whistles.  She said that songs will just get stuck in her head and she finds herself singing, humming or whistling them.  I asked her to think about the songs, are they songs that Daddy liked?  She thought about it and agreed, yes, they are.  Then she told me that sometimes songs wake her up in the morning.  I laughed and asked what song?  The answer was, "Wake Up Little Suzie" by The Everly Brothers.  My mom's name is Sue...

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These are but a few experiences since Daddy transitioned.  I know now, more than ever that he really hasn't gone anywhere.  He whooshes through here on his bike checking on things.  He's around when there are silly disagreements and he has things to say about them - fortunately I'm the only one who hears him.  Majik plays with Alvin, the skunk, but Snuggles, his dog, thinks Majik is annoying.   

It's only been a year, so the physical world side of grieving is still there.  Even though we know that our loved ones are OK - that they are safe and with God, we still must grieve.  We've been conditioned by the physical world that death is bad and that conditioning is deep.  If you've lost a loved one and "know" that they are ok so you don't feel you should be grieving, think again.  The physical world side of you does need to grieve.  Allow yourself to.  Then celebrate their life and rejoice that they are ok and still with us.

Thank you for sharing with me the celebration of my dad.

May you be profoundly blessed in this moment and in every moment after...

In love and light,
Kate